The Need
by NamelessSaint
Summary: Alice is in Hong Kong and is miserable. She knows what she needs, but is somewhat at a loss.


Alice looked out of her second story office window and watched as a new ship docked into the Hong Kong port. She sighed and tossed her pen on her desk. The clamor from down below reached up to her window and added to her already existing headache. She shut the window and drew the curtains closed. She turned and slowly walked to a side table on an opposite wall and reached for the bottle of whiskey. It was becoming a habit, this daily indulgence in the sour drink. But it warmed her throat, and eventually made its way down to her tired limbs, and made these days at least partially bearable.

She downed the libation in one practiced move and set the glass down. She thought about pouring a second, but decided that she wanted to keep her wits about her. She hated appearing weak in front of others, and the potent drink had done that more times than she cared to think about.

Alice quickly opened the door and walked down the short corridor to another office. She opened the door without knocking. "Hamish?"

The red headed man nearly jumped out of his chair. "Alice, how many times have I told you—knock first!"

"Well, I forgot."

Hamish straightened out his waistcoat. "You don't forget, dear girl, you ignore."

Alice waved a hand in his direction and went to stand at his office window, which overlooked a bustling street. "Don't bother me with semantics. Care to share a pipe?"

The man sighed. "Really, Alice, you are becoming far too fond of opium."

Alice continued to stare out the window. "No, I'm not." Her eyes fell on the storefront on the other side of the street. "I just enjoy it from time to time." Her Chinese wasn't perfect, but she could easily read the sign above the door. It was a brothel. She closed her eyes and sighed. "Well?"

Hamish finished signing his name to a document. "I'd love to. But actually I have a prior engagement with a young lady this evening."

Alice turned around and smiled. "Oh, who?"

Hamish smiled back. "Lord Preston's daughter—Ophelia."

The young woman nodded. She knew Ophelia and wasn't impressed. The girl was frumpy, and just perfect for her business partner. "Well, I hope you have a splendid evening."

Hamish rose from his chair and grabbed his top hat and walking stick. "Will you promise me that you won't go out and do something foolish, Alice?"

"Of course I do, Hamish. Now off with you."

The man tipped his hat before leaving and Alice turned back to the window, her heart heavy with her nightly anguish. She eyed the bottle of bourbon by Hamish's desk, sorely tempted to drink the night away. It wouldn't be the first, she thought. But this night was different and she knew it.

Alice reached up and placed her hand on the window and imagined she was touching a looking glass; that she could simply make a wish and whirl herself away to another land, to a place that she once defended—to a place where she had muchness, and a promise of love.

"A Champion," she whispered. "I was once a Champion—and now this." Alice closed her eyes again and allowed her memory to take over. It took her to a special night, a certain night, the one before Frabjous Day.

* * *

><p>Alice watched Tarrant walk away from her, feeling somewhat guilty over telling the man that he was a dream. She frowned. There were certainly aspects of Wonderland—Underland—that were dream-like, that did not appear to be real. But there were also things here that were more real than anything in her current life. Alice stood back as she thought about that and realized that she felt things here that she dared not in the world above. She closed her eyes and imagined dark eyes and blonde hair so pure that it shone white—impossibly dark lips, lips that caught her attention and didn't let her go.<p>

Alice sighed and shook her head. "Get a hold of yourself, Alice."

"And why would you want to do that?"

Alice whirled and found herself face to face with the White Queen. "Your Majesty."

"Lost in your thoughts, Alice?" The Queen smiled.

Alice smiled back and tried to swallow away the lump in her throat. "It's one of my many peccadilloes, I assure you."

Mirana stepped closer to the young woman. "Would you care to take a walk with me, Alice?"

Alice nodded. "Lead the way, your Majesty.

The Queen led them out of the castle and beyond her private gardens to a particularly dense and wild section of the nearby forest. The moon was full, and the stars seemed especially bright, so the path before them was well lit.

Mirana lifted her skirts and she made her way through exposed roots. "I much prefer the forest out here to those silly manicured gardens near my chambers."

"Why is that, your Majesty?" Alice saw the Queen almost trip, so she grabbed her hand.

"It is wild, unkempt. A place that I cannot predict at what is around the next corner."

Alice chuckled. "Would it not be strange if forests did have corners?"

The Queen stopped and laughed, a sound that warmed Alice to the core. "Well if such a forest did exist I assure you it would be in Underland. Let us just say that it would not surprise me."

"Well, there are certainly a lot of things here that do surprise me."

The Queen took Alice's hand again and began to walk. "What kind of surprises, dear Alice?"

Alice glanced at the Queen before speaking. "You, your Majesty, are quite a lovely surprise." Alice stopped and her face went red, she had not meant to say something so personal.

Mirana lowered her head, trying to hide her ridiculous grin. She took a step towards Alice. "Oh, and why do you find me so lovely, Alice?"

The girl faltered, and kept her head down as she shrugged. "I don't know."

"Come, now, my sweet Alice. Tell me." Mirana reached over and gently let her fingers caress Alice's cheek. "You know you can trust me."

Alice looked up, her brow furrowed. "How can I do that if this is just a dream?"

Mirana lowered her hand and stepped back a bit. "I'm sorry that you still think that, Alice. It pains me to hear it. But come now, we best be getting back."

Alice stared at the Queen as she walked away and felt as if she had just dropped her heart on the hard earth. She did manage to hold back the tears that threatened to reveal her heart's desire.

* * *

><p>"You have our everlasting gratitude; and for your efforts on our behalf." The Queen held out the vial of blood, wishing deep in her heart that Alice would refuse to take it.<p>

As if on reflex, Alice's arm shot out and quickly grabbed the vial. "Will this take me home?" She could see the smile on the Queen's face and knew how incredibly false it was.

"If that is what you wish." As soon as she spoke the words she regretted it. But there was some part of her that would never lie to the young woman in front of her, even if it broke her own heart. She blinked, and her hand reached out and gently caressed Alice's cheek again. But this time, she turned her fingers over and closed her eyes, making sure that Alice knew how intimate the gesture really was. She knew if she stood before her Champion for a moment longer she would simply wrap the girl in a warm embrace, and never let her go. So she plastered the most insincere smile she could muster on her face, and walked away.

Alice eyes watched Mirana walk away and she genuinely smiled at the woman, hoping that Mirana would see that she was not completely rejecting her. Her smile vanished, however, as she contemplated what the Jabberwock blood actually meant. She frowned as her mouth twitched, forcing her hand to bring the vial closer to her lips. But for some reason she couldn't quite do it. An image, of the woman in white just a few yards from her, invaded her vision, and the decision became a struggle. Perhaps, she didn't have to do this? What if she just simply let go of it? Her mouth twitched again as her fingers loosened.

"You could stay."

* * *

><p>Alice opened her eyes and wiped away the single tear that fell from her eye. She had once felt as if she was completing her destiny by following her father's dreams into the China market. But as the months passed by, and the reality of what was the real moneymaker in the country was, she had become disillusioned and cynical. Hamish was right; she did enjoy the opium far too much, mostly because it blocked the pain of her loss. The ironic thing was that it wasn't really a loss of any kind; she had not even kissed the Queen. But her heart ached, and her will to stay in this place and continue the work of the company had long since gone.<p>

Alice watched as another man entered the establishment across the street, his hat pulled down and his shoulders slumped in an effort to avoid recognition. She shook her head. Who cares who you are, she thought. Once again her eyes traveled to the bottle of bourbon, and this time she snatched it up and poured a large glass for herself. She drank half of it in a few swallows and then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. A few more customers of the brothel came out; one even adjusted his trousers before walking down the street.

The bourbon did its job and soothed her frazzled nerves, but it did not take away that deep inner need. The one that had been building up for the last couple of months; the one that demanded some sort of release. Alice felt the warmth from the bourbon enter into her bones and she groaned, the frustration slowly seeping to the surface. The need. She knew what it was but had not dared to act on it. Some inner part of herself was convinced that she was just being honorable, and respecting the memory of the woman in white. But today, that tired argument held no power. Her body was in need, and she needed to touch, and be touched in return.

Alice's eyes widened as she saw a woman enter into the brothel. A huge overcoat covered her, but she could tell it was a woman in spite of it. Her hand reached to the glass and she downed the rest of the bourbon.

There are decisions that set the course of one's life, and once they are made, you can never take them back. Alice's hand shook as she entered the darkened parlor, her eyes taking time to adjust to the dim light. But it was also the liquor; it pounded in her veins and made her very susceptible to the sensual music coming from somewhere not seen. A woman was in front of her, asking her questions in Chinese. She nodded, her Chinese was not perfect, but it did not take a ideal knowledge of it to know what the woman saying, and offering.

Alice inhaled a waft of opium, coming from behind the counter and she let it drift into her just as the bourbon did. It dulled her ability to do anything except to say, "yes" in her broken Chinese. A back door opened and a man beckoned her by waving his hand. She felt her feet move, but it did not feel like it was a conscious decision on her part that led her forward. The man traveled down a long corridor with closed doors on all sides of it. He stopped at one and opened the door, his smile meant to lure her in.

In no time at all she was in the room and she squinted even more, as only a single candle lit the room. Alice looked around the room and saw only a chair and a small twin bed, and on that bed the naked body of the woman who would pleasure her. Her mind was fuzzy, and for the briefest moment, she thought she saw Mirana on that bed, naked and wanting, beckoning to her with a smile and a gentle coaxing of her hand. Alice smiled in return and began to unbutton her waistcoat. But just as she was undressing for her beloved, the last rational part of her mind took over, and she saw the Chinese woman on the bed, waiting for her client.

Alice faltered for only a moment, but the opium and bourbon won, and any and all rational ends of her mind vanished, and her body hummed with its desire.

She tossed the waistcoat on the single chair. "Tonight, your name is Mirana."


End file.
